CRAZY TALK

ON THE TWENTIETH DAY OF CRANKVENT... WE NEED TO MOVE SOMETHING BIG

As much as we despise Northern Hemisphereans for dictating what Christmas 'is' we have to admit that logistically they have the whole thing sorted out quite well.

In northern climes, Christmas falls somewhere in the middle of the school year. The school year tends to start in September and end somewhere in June so they can send all their kiddies off to school camp for the summer, to play in poison ivy and fall out of canoes and so forth. So Christmas is a relatively peaceful blip, when carols and tinsel and fruit mince pies can be applied and appreciated at a more gentle pace. (Certainly in the US Christmas feels quite low-key after the stress of organising the perfect family Thanksgiving).

But here in the south, our summer holidays coincide with Christmas. That means we end up doing EVERYTHING all at the same time. School reports! End of year concerts! Summer holiday planning!

Clearly one or the other has to change—either we shift the school year, or we shift Christmas. Moving Christmas seems by far the easier option—and, as has been pointed out by previous correspondents, Christ was probably born in September so he mightn't mind so much if we choose another arbitrary date to celebrate his birth. Let's face it—if he was around now, all of his friends would have pissed off down to Barwon Heads for his birthday anyway. Plus, then we could Christmas-in-July for realsies. 

Write a letter to your MP today!

This woman feels faint even just thinking about all the stuff she has to get done by Christmas and has had to retire to her divan. [Lady sleeping on couch], ca. 1900. Glass lantern slide, State Library of Victoria, accession number H33823/39.

This woman feels faint even just thinking about all the stuff she has to get done by Christmas and has had to retire to her divan. [Lady sleeping on couch], ca. 1900. Glass lantern slide, State Library of Victoria, accession number H33823/39.