advents

WHINGE

ON THE NINETEENTH DAY OF CRANKVENT... ALL YOUR ADVENTS ARE CRAPPY

...because they are not THIS advent (pictured), which I received in 1984 in Canada and which is without doubt the most superior advent calendar that has ever existed or will ever exist. Today's advent calendars suffer from a mundanity of drawing, poor material quality, a distinct paucity of glitter, and moreover a lack of coherent visual narrative. When you open the doors in THIS calendar, you see a continuation of the scene—for example, see the wildcat standing in front of the fire at the bottom right, where one of the doors has become detached—not some random snowman or bunny rabbit that makes no sense within the scene on the front.

And those calendars stuffed with chocolates or Lego minifigs? Or even—God forbid—virtual advents? Pah! They appeal to our base and materialistic instincts, rather than fostering a sense of wonder and an appreciation of (glitter-laden) beauty.

I do not expect this advent calendar ever to be topped but I hope someone out there will at least attempt to prove me wrong.

ALICE CANNON, MELBOURNE

WHINGE

ON THE THIRD DAY OF CRANKVENT...A CRANK VENT?!

Look, virtual advent calendars are a dime a dozen right now but our big point of different here at CRANK was that we'd called it CRANKVENT. Ha ha! So witty. So unique! But an alert reader has alertedly alerted us to the fact that crank vents are a THING, a thing which vents the crank case fumes from your Harley Davidson AND controls the air under the pistons by maintaining the proper amount of vacuum in the crank case, at any RPM. It even snaps open for easy cleaning! So annoying. At least we don't spell ours with a K or retail for $124. 

A Krank Vent Plus (image from  Bike Line ).

A Krank Vent Plus (image from Bike Line).

Let us all enjoy the larks the Death and Glory Boys were having at New Years in 1914 at Snobs Creek. Probably their bike doesn't have a crank vent but nevermind.  Death or Glory Boys' at Snobs Creek New Year shooting party camp site,  glass plate negative by Lindsay G. Cumming, ca December 1914. Lindsay G. Cumming Collection, State Library of Victoria, H2005.88/442.

Let us all enjoy the larks the Death and Glory Boys were having at New Years in 1914 at Snobs Creek. Probably their bike doesn't have a crank vent but nevermind. Death or Glory Boys' at Snobs Creek New Year shooting party camp site, glass plate negative by Lindsay G. Cumming, ca December 1914. Lindsay G. Cumming Collection, State Library of Victoria, H2005.88/442.